Not Perfect
by owlcity89
Summary: Len had no idea that stepping through those doors would change his life forever. How could he? Who would have thought that meeting an English tutor could have such a drastic effect? Well, they must have never met Oliver. LenXOliver
1. Chapter 1

**Len's POV**

I glanced down at the note I had made on my cell phone. Room 354. I was going to meet my English tutor today. I swallowed. Oh my gosh I'm so nervous. I'm so bad at meeting people. I hope he doesn't hate me...

I nervously checked every article of clothing on my body. Smoothing out every crease, brushing off every tiny spec of dirt, and making sure everything was perfectly even. Now that everything was in order, my breathing eased and I was able to release some of the tension that had built up in my body.

"I'm alright…" I whispered to myself as I opened the door.

In the center of the room was a shorter boy, who may have been a little younger than me. His golden eyes peered up at me when he heard the noise.

My breath caught in my throat. What should I do? Do I look okay?

I smoothed out a couple of wrinkles that had formed in my shirt.

"Oh good you made it!" the boy welcomed me with a smile.

I returned the gesture, "Mhmm! Sorry if I kept you waiting."

He waved dismissively, "Oh it's no problem. ...I'm Oliver by the way."

"Oliver…" I repeated rolling the foreign name around on my tongue, "I'm Len."

He nodded, "Nice to meet you, Len! So…!"

I returned his 'So…!' awkwardly. Oh gosh what am I even doing… My eyes then landed on his sleeves. One was neatly folded, but the other had come undone. I really wanted to fix it, it's just not right. What if he got hungry, but when he ate he dragged his sleeve in it! He would be so mad at me for not saying anything! Then he'd hate me! I… I… I have to!

I pointed to his sleeve, "May I…?"

He blushed, but before he could answer my question I did it anyway. While I was at it, I noticed his jacket was a little crooked so I pulled on it until it was just right.

"Perfect!" I proclaimed with a smile.

My smile quickly faded as I eyed Oliver's bewildered expression, "I'm sorry! That was really weird wasn't it!"

He shook his head, "Oh no! It was totally cool! Really, thank you! I can kind of be a mess sometimes, I guess! Sorry about that!"

Oliver smiled softly at me, "Hey, why don't we uh start on English?"

I nodded, taking out my materials from my neatly organized satchel. I had checked it 10 times exactly to make sure I had all my English materials. I'm sure he would have been very distressed if I hadn't brought any of my own study material!

Oliver had started the session by reviewing the rules of basic grammar. I could tell I still didn't grasp the concept well, but hearing Oliver explain them gave me a better understanding for sure. Somehow, along the way, we had switched topics. From English to Dance.

Oliver sighed, "Oh man… I think Dance might be the only class I ever fail. I'm terrible at it! I can't keep the rhythm, I can't keep the steps straight, and I look like a flopping fish whenever I even try to attempt the moves! There's no way I'm going to be able to graduate as a Vocaloid…"

"What dance routine are you learning, right now?" I asked.

He blinked, "Umm… The dance for Romeo to Cinderella."

I grinned. I loved that song. I could already feel the moves buried within my muscles. I knew I could do it perfectly.

"Here, watch me!" I proclaimed.

I grinned as I could hear the music resonate within me. I knew the song by heart.

I sang out the first verse loud and strong, swinging my hips to the rhythm. Swaying to the the beat. I loved the way it felt to move my body. It was the only time I felt truly free, when I was truly myself. I just wanted to dance. To let everything go for a few moments. I was always so afraid, but now I could just enjoy the rush. The pounding of my heart mixed with sweat- I loved it.

**A/N: Here's the first chapter! I'm sure you _Better Than Perfect _fans picked up on a couple of jokes about the old version! I hope everyone liked it though, whether they are new to this particular story-line or not! Oh and this is not going to simply be a re-write of the old story, by the way! Oh no, I have new plans... *wrings hands evilly* **

**Oh and on that note of new-ish stuff! Some of you may have noticed that Oliver has two eyes! Gasp! There's not really a special reason I just didn't feel like writing about Ollie's bandages and Len's reaction to them for the 50 billionth time. So Oliver gets to enjoy both his eyes for one story! Yay! And like I said, this story is a reboot sort of thing, so I may have tweaked the characters a bit! (a lot) I hope you'll still enjoy them though!**

**Also I wanted to shout-out to hourglasshero who made me fall in love with fanfiction all over again with her OliverXLen story _Contact_. It's amazing! I would recommend that all of you go read it right now!**

**Speaking of amazing people! I'm sure you all remember my lovely girlfriend and co-writer in crime, Moonhawk88903! Yes, we are STILL together and very much in love! It's officially been 1 year and 6 months! So if anyone asks, Fanfiction can build relationships! :) Sadly though, she did not help me write this fic since she didn't have the time so I hope you guys will be satisfied with just my writing! Enjoy!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oliver's POV**

HOLY DAMN! HOW IS HE POSSIBLY DANCING THAT WELL?! THAT'S INSANE!

My eyes darted over his form as he cranked out the moves and DAMN did he have some moves! He was simply mesmerizing. Even though there wasn't any music I could tell he was moving his body perfectly.

I was actually a little embarrassed because I could feel my cheeks radiate as I watched Len swing his hips. I had never realized how suggestive the song was, but Len really captured the feeling of lust that emanated from the lyrics...

Oh and did I mention his singing? It's amazing as well! His voice was so… so… smooth, like honey. The song just dripped from his mouth into sweet notes. He's going to make a perfect Vocaloid one day. He's got the moves, the voice, the looks, the flair. How am I ever going to be able to do the same?

Once he struck his final pose he shot me a grin that made my heart flutter. Wow, he's got a gorgeous smile.

His smile fell as he asked, "Was that about right?"

"Oh my gosh that was perfect! Wow, you're a great dancer!" I exclaimed, probably a little too enthusiastically.

I was a little surprised that he blushed at my compliment. He must of heard that all the time, right?

He fidgeted with rearranging his clothes for a couple of minutes and I just waited patiently. Hmm… he does that a lot doesn't he? And then there was that thing with the sleeve… That was kind of weird. Maybe he's a perfectionist or something?

"Why don't you come try it now? I'll help you." he gestured for me to come stand by him.

I blinked, standing up, "O-okay."

I made my way over to him and he instantly started adjusting my stance and told me which foot to shift my weight on and how to tilt my body. Then he walked me through the steps guiding me the whole time giving me one direction at a time. Then allowing me to try it myself and he critiqued and we went through the process again.

By the end I attempted to perform the moves he showed me and I was able to do them with only a couple of mistakes! It was a miracle!

"I can do it!" I jumped excitedly.

Len grinned, "You were great!"

I smiled, "Honestly, it's thanks to you."

It was true. I never would have been able to pull it all together without him. He was so patient and he really knew what he was doing.

I glanced up at him, feeling a little embarrassed about my question, "Hey umm… Do you think we could like… trade skills?"

He cocked an eyebrow, "Trade skills?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I could help you with your English and you could help me with my dancing. If you'd like to anyway. If you wouldn't I would still be willing to help you with your English. I just thought…"

His eyes lit up, "Oh no! I'd love to!"

"Really?" I asked searching his face.

Len smiled brightly, "Definitely."


	3. Chapter 3

**Len's POV**

I ran a hand through my hair as I walked down the corridor humming Romeo to Cinderella. Oliver and I had been working hard these last couple of days perfecting his moves. He really was getting so much better. I'm sure he's going to get a great mark on his next test.

I smiled to myself as I straightened my clothes removing all of the wrinkles. I can't believe I've actually been able to help him. I'm so glad.

When I opened the door, I was surprised to see he was already practicing. Something was different though. He was singing. His voice was so beautiful, like an angel's. His words fluttered around the room like a butterfly. It was a little soft, but that made it even more precious. I just wanted to capture it in a bottle and save it forever.

I compulsively followed my feet and took a stance mirroring Oliver.

His eyes went wide and he paused.

I pleaded with my eyes, "Can you keep going?"

He nodded and resumed his routine. I smiled as I mirrored his movements singing the harmony, allowing our voices to meld together. Becoming a little more creative, instead of mirroring his movements I tried to compliment them. My movements threw him off for a couple moments, but he quickly got the gist of what I was doing. He smiled as he relaxed and trusted his body.

We weren't just moving now. We were dancing. We maintained eye contact and energy flowed between us. There may have been no music other than our own voices, but that was more than enough.

Finally we sang the last note and ended the sequence with a hand flourish.

I gasped for air, "That was amazing, Oliver."

He nodded, "Yeah… For the first time, I really feel like I can do it. I can pass!"

I fixed our clothing that had been a little disheveled during the routine, "Oh for sure! You nailed it!"

"Well, since I'm all set I guess that means I should probably help you study for the next English exam, hmm?"

I groaned, "Whhhyyyy? Can't we just dance forever?"

He chuckled, "You may be able to dance forever, but one more minute and I would pass out!"

"I could always show you slow dancing." I suggested grasping at straws.

His face reddened and he stuttered, "Th-that would be kind of weird Len. Since slow dancing is for…"

"Oh…" Now I was blushing! Oh gosh why did I say that? What if he thinks I was coming on to him or something, "I just meant, like, for educational purposes not romantic. That um would be weird, you're right!"

I forcefully smoothed my shirt and readjusted every article of clothing on my body. I just felt so overwhelmed. None of this was right. None of this was right at all!

I began to sort out all the papers and utensils on the table. The writing utensils by size and color and the papers were lined up precisely with the 90 degree angle of the table on the top left corner. Everything needed to be in it's place. I stepped out of line. No one likes when something is out of place. Oliver won't want to be around me anymore. I don't… I don't want him to hate me like everyone else.

I felt tears slide down my face and I bowed my head in shame. There's no avoiding it. He's probably walking out the door right now.

"Len!" Oliver yelled taking my wrist.

I stepped away from him, breaking his hold. I shielded my face by lifting my hands up. I don't want him to see me cry. It's pathetic.

"Len! You didn't do anything wrong, I promise! I was wrong!" he assured me.

I shook my head, "No, I'm… I'm the wrong one. I'm wrong. I'm wrong."

"Len…" Oliver croaked his eyes shining, "Won't you teach me how to slow dance?"

I wiped away my tears, "You really want to?"

He stepped closer, "I'd love to."

I sniffed and smoothed down my clothing and readjusted Oliver's hat. I took Oliver's right hand and guided it to my shoulder.

Then I laced my right hand with his left, "...Are you sure?"

He nodded, "Yeah. I think we're covering this next unit anyway! It'll be good to at least have an idea what I'm doing!"

I smiled softly placing my hand on his slender waist, "I'm sure you would've done fine."

He breathed in, "Like you said. This is education. It's important to try to stay on top of things."

"Okay... You'll be following my lead. Basically, when I step forward you step back."

I demonstrated by slowly stepping with my right and he slowly realized that he was suppose to step back with his left. I continued this slow process with him giving him some pointers along the way. I also let him stare down at our feet as to become comfortable with the movement and gain some confidence in himself.

Once I believed he got the hang of it I whispered, "Oliver… try to look at me, okay?"

He brought his face up and I gazed into his golden irises. The color was so beautiful. I never would have thought that I would meet someone with golden eyes. Then again, I never thought I'd meet Oliver.

We slowly moved around the room. Oliver actually picked up the move quite quickly since it was so simple.

"Would you like to try twirling?" I asked.

His eyes widened, "Umm… sure."

"Okay, so you remove your hand from your partner's shoulder or waist, but keep hold of the other hand. And then you move your arm in a circular motion around their head like this."

I twirled Oliver slowly and he blushed.

"You can try twirling me now, if you want."

He stuttered, "Oh, s-sure!"

I couldn't help, but laugh a little at the fact that Oliver could barely get his arm high enough to perform the move on me, "Perfect."

He smiled, "Yeah."

Suddenly my ringtone went off, echoing round the room.

"Excuse me." I stated, letting go of Oliver so I could run over and pick up my call.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Len, are you alright? You're usually home by now so I got worried."

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, Rin. We just had an especially long tutoring session today. I'm leaving right now though."

"Okay. Dinner will be ready by the time you get home."

"Sounds good. See you then." I flipped my phone closed.

Oliver had already gather up his things by the time I finished with my call, "Yeah, I'd better get home too. You know, you haven't gotten out of studying for English. I'm not going to have another Dance exam for weeks, so we'll be able to focus all our time to your favorite subject!"

I sighed, "Can't wait."

He smirked, "I'm sure. Bye, Len."

"Bye bye." I returned to organizing my things.

It wasn't until I heard the door close before I realized I forgot something.

I ran full speed and threw open the door, "Oliver!" I shouted across the hall, "Good luck on your Dance exam!"

I smiled when I heard a faint, "Thank you!"

**A/N: Welp. This chapter wasn't incredibly cheesy at all. XD I should probably be ashamed of myself for writing such cliche chapters, but oh well, it was fun! Also be prepared, much deeper chapters are coming soon, so enjoy the sappy goodness while you can! ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Oliver's POV**

Oh my gosh I don't know if I can do this… I mean I practiced my butt off and I know I can do it, but… How am I suppose to do it on a stage in front of the whole class? I'm not Len.

Len. I remembered yesterday, my heart rate increasing. I still can't believe all that happened. It's such a blur. I can't believe I made him cry…

I sighed and shook my head. Looking back on it, what I said had sounded as if I had been accusing Len of having… romantic intentions. I didn't mean it like that. I just… I didn't want him to think _I _was coming onto him. I've never told him, but I'm… I'm gay.

I buried my face in my hands. I really wish I could just tell him, but after yesterday I know it would just make him uncomfortable. I can't. I really like him, I don't want to scare of my… my friend? Is that what we are?

Just two friendly dudes that happen to slow dance? Ahhh… I know he was only trying to teach me, but… The way he looked at me, I just… I kind of want to believe there was something there. I'm just being stupid though. Like I just said, he's not gay. He would never like me.

Gosh… why am I even thinking about him like that? Okay, this was just one of these weird thoughts where if you think about someone too long it leads down a weird road. It's human nature to fantasize about being with anyone who is the gender you are attracted too. Hell, one day I spaced out so much I imagined what it would be like if Mr. Shion and I were in a relationship. Gross. See! It made no sense, but my brain thought about it anyway. This is exactly what this is. Everything is fine. Len and I are just friends. Bloody Hell, we might not even be that!

I exhaled, running a hand through my hair. I'm cool, I'm cool. I'm ready to give a kick arse performance that'll knock their socks off! Except then the theater would smell really bad… Okay, Oliver focus! You're just about to get on a stage. Perform a dance in front of all your friends and enemies. Worst case scenario you mess up so badly that you literally break a leg and you are teased about it for the rest of your life and then you'll move to a different country to try and escape the torture, but then you find out someone posted it on youtube so everyone knows you were that kid and then you can get hit by a bus and die! That's not too bad, right?

"Oliver?" my teacher called.

I walked over towards the stage. No. No. No. No. No.

I swallowed as I climbed the stairs. Oh God, please kill me now.

I took the center of the stage and gazed out at the crowd.

What? Is that-? Len?!

My jaw dropped open as I saw Len wave from the back of the theater. OH MY GOSH WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?! IS HE STALKING ME?!

Just as Len sent me into overdrive panic mode, the music started which meant it was time for me to dance like a monkey. Great. Amazing.

I took a deep breath and let my body move. It knew what to do. I had performed the moves over and over again until they were programmed into my muscles. All I had to do was feel the music and sing the lyrics I had memorized a month ago. My shifting gaze eventually fell onto Len.

I'm really fine. I smiled and got into the routine giving it my all. I sang my heart out, I

worked my butt off, I even made sure that the performance had an extra sense of flair with exaggerated movements. I had this!

I nailed the last pose as I belted the last note. Well… I put as much power behind it as physically possible anyway.

I glanced down upon the crowd and frowned when I saw everyone turned around looking at Len grinning and clapping. I blushed beet red. Oh my gosh… Len, you're not suppose to clap during a test!

Even though I was utterly embarrassed, I couldn't help but smile like I won the lottery.


	5. Chapter 5

**Len's POV**

As soon as I opened the door, Oliver commented, "You do know that clapping during a Dance test is disruptive, right?"

I blushed and chuckled, "Well… I found out once they kicked me out! I know I wasn't suppose to, but I couldn't help it. I forgot all about it after I saw you're amazing performance."

His cheeks reddened, "You thought it was that good?"

I nodded, "Oh yeah it was phenomenal! I could really tell that you put your heart into it! What did you get on it?"

Oliver grinned triumphantly, "A 90%! I obliterated that test!"

I beamed, "I told you you did amazing! She's a hard grader too! You should celebrate!"

"You know… I never could have done it without you. You deserve just as much of the credit as I do. We should celebrate together. You know… if you want."

I blinked and pointed at myself, "You mean… you want to hang out? With ME?"

Nobody… nobody ever wants to hang out with me… Does he realize how weird I am? That I'm a freak? I must be dreaming or something…

Oliver furrowed his eyes and frowned. Oh no. I definitely misheard him!

"Of course I do. We're friends… right?" he asked.

Oh my gosh… He wants to be my friend? I… I don't even remember the last time I had a real friend! Sure, I had people I would strike a conversation with, but even those were far and in between. I've never had someone that I could hang out with or anything like that. I don't believe it.

I straightened my clothing, "Yes! I mean- sure! I mean- if you want to?"

He smiled, "Yeah! Of course I do!"

I grinned, "Let's uh go out and celebrate then!"

"Sounds great!" Oliver affirmed.

...

"What flavor did you get?" I asked curiously.

Oliver swallowed his lick of ice cream, "Pineapple. You?"

I replied with my mouth partially full, "Banana."

"Nice."

There was an awkward silence between us as we kept eating our ice cream. What was I suppose to say? What should I do? I… I honestly have no idea what I'm doing…

I tugged all the wrinkles out of my shirt. Then I checked my socks to make sure they were at the same mark. Now my shoelaces were bothering me, the loops aren't even. I don't know how many times I untied and re-tied my shoes. Probably at least 10. I just had to make them perfect. They're wrong. They need to be fixed. If I don't get them perfect I would probably end up tripping on them and then I would fall into the road and Oliver would try and save me, but then he'd get hit by a bus and die in my arms. I would try and stop the internal bleeding by pressing on it, but there would be too much. He would-

"-Len? Is something wrong?" Oliver asked concernedly as I tied my shoes.

I continued with my ritual, swallowing, "I… This is weird isn't it?"

He stuttered, "N-no! I'm just worried that there's something wrong with your shoes…"

I answered monotone, "It's not the shoes. It's me. I'm the wrong one. I have OCD."

'I'm sorry.' I could already hear him say it. Everyone pities me, the freak.

"I'm not going to say I'm sorry. That's what everyone says. They don't even try to be sympathetic and the way it comes out is that they pity you and affirming that you're messed up. I don't think you're messed up at all. You're an amazing person." Oliver nonchalantly finished his ice cream cone and asked me if I wanted him to throw away mine as well.

I blinked, "You… you don't think I'm a freak?"

He shook his head, "Of course not! How could I judge you for something you can't even control? It doesn't make any sense. I hope you are doing well with treating your disorder, but I don't think it has to be such a big deal. Everyone has something someone would consider 'wrong'. I'm gay. Do you hate me?"

I didn't even have to think about it, "Of course not, Oliver. Thank you."

I hugged him. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe I finally found someone who understood. He may not have OCD, but he understands what it feels like to be an outcast. To have people judge you for something you didn't choose. Even if you try to conceal it from them, they still disapprove. I could take all the medication in the world and I'm sure I would still find people who thought I could never be considered 'normal'.

I never asked to be a freak. To be born with a disorder that makes you the "weird kid". Nobody had ever wanted to be around me other than my sister. Some people tolerated me or were even nice to me, but no one went out of their way to try and befriend me like Oliver. He… liked me as a person. To him that was enough. For the first time in my life, I feel like I don't have to try and be perfect.

Of course I accept Oliver. He is the best person I have ever met. Besides that, I will never judge someone the way others have judged me. I know how much it hurts. I could never knowingly inflict that kind of pain on another. It's disgusting.

Oliver pulled back from our hug and eyed me, "You're really okay with hugging me?"

I smiled, "You're gay, not a porcupine."

He snickered, returning the hug, "Well…! I'm glad you're not a homophobe!"

"Nope! I'm a homophiliac!" I proclaimed.

Oliver made a face, "You love the homos?"

I grinned, "Obviously!"

Oliver's whole face went red, "You think you're so funny!"

I nodded, "Mmhm!"

He snorted and shook his head, "What am I going to do with you?"

"Be my best friend forever?" I suggested, adjusting his hat nervously.

"Whoah, best friends already? Shouldn't you take me out to dinner first?" he joked.

I gave him a sheepish look, "Ice cream isn't dinner?" 

**A/N: I can't deny, the dialogue in this chapter is one of my favorite! I claim the coining of 'homophiliac'! :3 There's probably something wrong with me... XD**


	6. Chapter 6

**Oliver's POV**

Why is he so sweet? Why is he so adorable? Why did my heart race when he hugged me? I blushed just thinking about it.

Why am I falling for him?

I really shouldn't be doing this. I'm just going to get my my heart broken and ruin my relationship with Len. I have to stop dreaming. He's never going to like me. NEVER.

I frowned. Yeah… This is just a stupid crush. I mean, I've only known him a couple weeks! You can't fall for someone that fast. This is- this is just hormones. He's an attractive guy and my body's like whoah man! I want a piece of that! So then it starts shooting off the hormones that make my palms sweaty and my heart race and the blood rush to my face and then my eyes start moving by their own as I take in his gorgeousness and god dammit here I go again.

Enjoying the the memory of his touch and warmth, I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around myself. Dammit. Why are you so perfect?

"Hey!" I heard an unmistakable voice exclaim.

I smiled, my eyes moving up and down his body, "Hey…"

Oliver don't.

He sat down in the chair beside me and started getting out his supplies, "Do you think you could help me with my homework? I honestly do not get the past subjunctive at all."

I nodded, "Of course."

I did my best to explain, but I could tell he still didn't get it. English doesn't come easily to Len at all. He has to work so hard just to grasp what I'm saying. I wish I could be more helpful…

"Is this right?" Len asked, his eyes connecting with mine.

Staring into his eyes made me feel like I was lost at sea. Nothing existed except the enchanting blue shimmer. My heartbeat sped up.

"Oliver?"

I blushed realizing I had totally spaced out. I murmured an apology as I drew my gaze to the sentence he had written. I allowed my fingers to flow over the words as I read them silently. Even his penmanship was lovely. He had beautiful loopy letters that made me shameful of my chicken scratch.

"You were really close this time. The only thing wrong is that 'was' should be 'were'." I informed him.

He scrunched his eyebrows and picked up the paper. He brought it closer to his face as though he knew the answer was obvious, he just couldn't see it.

He groaned and laid the paper down so that it fit exactly with the table's corner.

Len then folded his arms and laid his head down upon them, "I don't get it at all… Honestly, I don't know why you bother me. There's no way I'm going to be able to pass. I'm so stupid."

"Len, don't say that about yourself! You're not stupid. There's nothing wrong with not being perfect. And you know, you ARE learning! It's just slower than you'd like, but you've really made a lot of progress, really." I reached out and stroked his back.

Aww, Len… I wish he wouldn't put himself down like that. I wish he knew that he was perfect to me.

I loved how hard he tried, even if he knew it was hopeless. I loved the way he put so much care into the little things most people never thought about. I loved his gentleness, the way he always showed so much patience with me. I loved his childishness, the way he would get a little whiny when he didn't understand something. I loved his happiness, how it pulled you in. When he smiled you just couldn't help smiling too.

Am I… in love with him?

"Oliver?" Len asked staring straight at me, blushing.

I quickly darted my eyes away, the heat in my cheeks burning. Oh my gosh he's- he's so close! I- I can't deal with this right now!

I jumped up and started scooping up all of my things, "Uh sorry, Len! I just remember that I uh have to- to feed my bird! Yeah! I don't want bird blood on my hands so I better go! Umm so bye!"

Without another word or glance I ran out of the room. As soon as the door shut behind me I leaned against the wall, catching my breath.

Well… Fuck.

**A/N: Well said, Oliver. XD I suppose you could say he cusses like a sailor, huh? ;3 So yep, someone's in love! I wonder what happens next... Oh wait, I already know what happens next! Hehe, love you guys. :3**


	7. Chapter 7

**Len's POV**

I was smoothing down my shirt so hard that I was surprised I hadn't flattened an internal organ or two. I had probably been doing this for an hour now. I just, couldn't stop. I was… I was… I didn't even know what I felt.

Oliver had just raced out of there. He just spouted out some excuse and left. Oh gosh I just know I did something wrong… Will he ever want to see me again? Are we still friends? What should I do? Should I apologize?

I glanced over at my cell phone. I swallowed as I dialed the number and put it up to my ear.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

No answer.

I flipped my phone open and closed, over and over again as I started to hyperventilate. Oh my God! He didn't answer the phone! What if he died?! What if he hates me?! What if…!

I fell to my knees. I can't breathe! I-I-!

I laid on the floor, curling into a ball.

Oliver. I tried to remember the way it felt when he had dragged his fingers along my back in order to comfort me. Every minuscule movement had sent a tingling sensation down my spine and I remembered my heart was beating so hard, it felt like it might explode.

What was that? I had never felt anything like that in my life.

I closed my eyes, my breath calming down just by thinking about Oliver.

I wish you were here.

I took a deep breath and picked myself up, brushing myself off and rearranging my attire.

I plopped down in my chair and ended up staring at my computer. Not having anyone else to talk to I found myself halfheartedly typing 'I miss my b-'.

I froze. I was about to write 'I miss my best friend' but the first option that had popped up was 'I miss my boyfriend'.

My heart pounded so hard I thought I had just woken up the whole house. I couldn't explain why, but I couldn't stop staring at that word. Boyfriend.

Mesmerized I clicked on the link. I read a few lines of one girl's post.

_It's like… I can't breathe without him. I just I miss him so badly it hurts. I have no idea where he is right now or what he's doing. Does he still love me even though I messed up? I just don't know what to do. Oh God. What if he breaks up with me? I don't think my heart could handle that. I love him so much. _

I stared at the monitor unable to connect my thoughts. Her thoughts about her boyfriend almost exactly mirrored my thoughts about Oliver. Does that mean…?

But I'm not gay, right?

I pulled up another tab and typed in while blushing profusely, 'cute boys'. I scanned the images. Nope. I felt no attraction whatsoever.

Biting my lip I decided to type in, 'cute girls'. I looked over theses pictures as well. Over and over again scrolling through hundreds of images.

Absolutely nothing.

What…? I started tidying up my desk, making sure everything was in it's exact place as my thoughts ran rapidly. That's not… that's not right. I mean, I know I've never had a crush on somebody before, but I thought maybe that was because I never met the right person. But maybe I don't like anyone? Is that possible?

I typed in 'I'm not attracted to anyone'.

The link I clicked on took me to an asexual website. I read through the definitions of sexual orientation and asexuality. Apparently, it is possible to not be attracted to anyone. So is that what I am? I'm just never going to be attracted to anyone?

I scrolled down until I found the last description which was of demisexualtiy.

_Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond._

Someone I have an emotional bond with? My mind flashed to Oliver and my heart started to race again. The tingly feeling he had given me earlier that day lingering in my mind.

I swallowed and looked up 'what does attraction feel like?'

Every answer described it as 'sparks', 'tingly' or 'heart-pounding'. ...Basically everything I felt.

So I… like Oliver?

Well, I loved being around him. He's my best friend. He's the first person I've been able to connect with in a long time. He just… He makes me feel like I could just be myself. I could just be me. I didn't have to be perfect. He likes me for just being me.

Would it be possible for him to like me too?

I blushed as I considered the thought. Well, he is gay, but that's no guarantee… Besides, I'm still weird. Even if he likes me as a friend, he probably wouldn't want to date me.

With my last shred of hope I looked up 'how to tell if a boy likes you'.

Body language, eye contact, and pupil dilation were the common results.

I closed out of the window, running a hand through my hair. What am I doing? I mean… How do I know if I really like him? What if that… attraction... was like a false positive? Actually, what would I do if I did like him? Wouldn't I be putting our friendship at risk by confessing my feelings? ...Which I'm not even sure are real?

Aghhhh! I started flying around the room fixing my possessions so that everything was in the right place. No, I couldn't do that. I… I don't care if I'm attracted to him or whatever I just want to be with him. That's enough for me.

I nodded, looking around the room at my handiwork. Yeah.

I turned the light on and off before crawling into bed. Even after the speech I gave to myself I couldn't help but imagine what being Oliver's boyfriend would be like.

I smiled sleepily, I bet Oliver would be the best boyfriend ever.

**A/N: I just wanted to say, I am so happy to represent demisexuals! Yay! I am not one, nor do I know one, so I am not quite sure if this is an accurate portrayal. I hope it is, but even if it's not 100% I'm glad that I'm able to spread around a little knowledge about sexuality! Hope I got everyone pumped up for the next chapter! :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Oliver's POV**

Oh man, I totally messed up yesterday. I can't believe I just bailed on him like that…

I fiddled with my pencil. Then I glanced at the clock again. He's 20 minutes late.

He definitely should have been here by now. I opened my phone to check for a text, but all I found was a missed call notification… from Len… last night.

OH MY GOD HE CALLED ME?! Why the Hell would he call me?! Oh no, oh no, OH NO! What if he figured out the real reason I ran yesterday?! No, no! He couldn't have! I… I worked too damn hard trying to conceal my feelings! I may not have given an outstanding performance, but it must have been enough. It had to be. I don't want to lose him. Not like this.

I had half made up my mind that I was going to run around the school yelling Len's name when the door opened.

"Hey… Sorry, I'm late."

I smiled relieved, "Oh! No problem!"

Then he sat down, his eyes on me the whole time. I squirmed under his gaze, feeling my blush building.

I cleared my throat, "So um English!"

He glanced at me, "Actually… I was wondering if you'd like to just hang out."

Of course. As I'm working on controlling my feelings when I'm around you you want to have all your attention on me. The universe just loves me, doesn't it?

"Oh? Did you uh have anything in mind?" I asked.

He shook his head while simultaneously arranging the materials I had already gotten out, "No… We don't have to go anywhere, unless you want to. I just wanted to… hang out."

I blinked, "Oh um okay. That's cool."

As he finished his organizing we sat in silence. I couldn't seem to form any words in my mouth. I was too worried I would just let something slip out, so I elected to just stare at the one thing I wanted most. I knew I shouldn't, but if I can't have him I'll be damned if I can't admire him a little!

Once he was done, he focused on fixing his own attire while biting his lip.

OH MY FUCKING GOD COULD YOU DO ANYTHING BUT NOT BE INCREDIBLY SEXY FOR ONE MOMENT, IF THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE?!

Then he was leaning forward, staring at me.

OH MY GOD AM I DREAMING, OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO?!

He was EXTREMELY close to my face now. If I didn't know any better I would have thought he… he…

"You're sleeve wasn't rolled up." he whispered, finally pulling his face away.

I had to resist the urge to grab my chest. I almost had a heart attack because my sleeve wasn't freaking rolled up?!

He crossed his legs, "So was your bird okay?"

"My bird? Oh um yes! He's perfectly alright! Fit as a fiddle!" I laughed nervously while mindlessly crossing my legs.

He smiled, "I'm glad to hear that!"

I reciprocated the smile, but once again silence fell between us.

Len's face seemed a little red suddenly and he rubbed the back of his neck, "Hey Oliver… can I ask a personal question?"

"O-of course! Ask me anything!" I proclaimed, rubbing the back of my neck nervously.

His electric blue eyes found mine, "Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

I could feel my face was as hot as an iron, "N-no. Not yet…."

I swallowed, "Have you uh ever had a girlfriend?"

He shook his head, "I've never dated anyone either."

"I don't see how. You're so sweet and nice and smart and gentle and funny and handsome and-" Before I could stop myself the words just poured out of my mouth.

THERE'S NO WAY I JUST SAID THAT, RIGHT? OH MY FREAKING GOD!

I tried to clean it up by adding, "Wh-what I mean is, I'm sure the girls love you! You probably just haven't noticed!"

Len bit his lip again, staring me straight in the eye, "Probably because I don't notice them at all."

What?

He continued, "Oliver? Do you know what a demisexual is?"

I furrowed my brow, racking my brain, "N-no."

For some reason my heart was pounding at a record setting pace. It's all I could hear as I stared into Len's eyes. I just couldn't look away.

"A demisexual is someone who doesn't feel attracted to anyone. Neither girls nor boys. The only way they can even potentially develop feelings of attraction is by forming an emotional bond first."

I held my breath. Len, what are you saying?

"I… I'm one of those people. Oliver, I…" his face was completely flushed.

He finished in English, /I think I like you./

**A/N: Okay so if you ever see two / the dialogue inside is English, just to let you know. :3 Anyway, I guess the elephant in the room just couldn't be ignored, huh? XD **


	9. Chapter 9

**Len's POV**

/I think I like you./ I slowly admitted in English.

How did this happen? I told myself I wasn't going to do this. I told myself I needed more time to figure out my feelings. I told myself I wasn't going to risk our friendship. I knew all these things, but for whatever reason I couldn't remember a single one of them when I saw Oliver.

Now I understood what it meant to let your hormones take over. I could feel my body flowing with chemicals. It was almost like feeling light headed, but it felt wonderful. Kind of like finishing a dance routine- except my heart was beating harder.

I had checked for all the signs. His pupils were dilated, his eyes were on me, he even mirrored the movements I made. According to everything I had read he liked me. I was putting all my faith in a teen article I read online. It was probably stupid but like I said I couldn't think clearly. My heart was so loud, it blocked out all my doubts. I just had to do this. I had to know.

Oliver repeated back in Japanese, "...You like me?"

I could feel my blush grow as I only managed to nod.

His eyes darted back and forth from the floor to my face, "You mean like… romantically?"

I nodded again, smoothing my shirt nervously.

Oliver leaned in and I was sure my heart was going to just jump out of my chest into his hands, "You… want to be with me?"

I nodded feeling my body subconsciously shift towards Oliver. I could feel my eyes move sporadically, desperately trying to drink in his beautiful face.

"Like this?" he breathed against my lips.

I nodded and closed my eyes.

Oliver closed the distance and the whole world melted away. All I could feel was sparks where our lips collided. The rest of me was enveloped in heat. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back.

I didn't think about if I was doing it right. All I could do was touch and feel. My brain had completely turned off. It must have melted in the fire that had overtaken my body.

He pulled away taking a moment, but after just a look, he kissed me again.

He wound his hands around my waist and breathed, "Len…"

My body shuddered with pleasure as he planted feathery kissed down my neck.

"Oliver…" I moaned softly, feeling the heat in my body increasing.

He leaned back and stared at my face as he brought a hand up to cradle my face, "Len… Please tell me I'm not dreaming."

"You're not dreaming." I whispered adjusting his hat.

"Len… When you said you liked me, how much is that?"

I blushed, biting my lip, "More than just like…"

"Do you… want to be my boyfriend?"

I took his face in my hands and kissed him with all the passion I could muster. He placed his hands on top of mine and I was pleasantly surprised when I felt his grin on my lips.

When we broke apart he stared deep into my eyes, "I love you."

I ran my hands down his arms, smoothing out the creases of his coat. He loves me. Me.

"Really?" I asked with awe.

It felt like there was magic hanging in the air around us. It must have been the magic of his smile.

He leaned in and rubbed his nose against mine, our foreheads touching, "Mhmm!"

I gasped at the intensity of our closeness. I could feel him all around me. His presence, his warmth, his love surrounded me, caressing me. I could feel his whole being with just a touch. It was the most beautiful feeling in the whole world.

"I love you too." I mumbled against his lips.

**A/N: Awww... They're dating now yay! Welp, guess that's the end of the fic, what more could there be? Just kidding! XD For once, the story's not just about how they start dating. I mean we've seen them build their friendship and it blossom into a simple love, but I've never really gone further than that in my stories. So this time, let's follow our favorite ship and see how their relationship develops... if it survives. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Oliver's POV**

Len blushed as I continued to stare. I couldn't help it.

Len loves me! We kissed! He's my boyfriend!

It had all happened so fast. My mind was still trying to process that this was real. It almost felt like I was looking through the eyes of someone else. Kind of how you see everything unfold through the perspective of the camera in the movie. You could almost swear that you were actually there, but you're brain kept trying to remind you of reality.

Except… This was reality. At least I hope with all my heart it is.

I blushed as I ran a hand through his gorgeous golden locks, "So you're all mine now?"

I couldn't help but smile as his face grew a darker shade of red. He was too adorable.

"Are you mine?" He asked his eyes scanning my face.

I took his hand and guided it to my heart, "I'm all yours."

Without another word, he drew me into his warm embrace. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his neck.

I knew I had only known him for about a month now, but it felt like I had been in love with him for much longer. I could hardly remember what it was like to not have him in my life. It was unfathomable. Len, you're the reason I love to get up in the morning- even on a Monday. It's because there's a chance I get to be with you.

_BOOOOOOM!_

We both jumped. Well, Len jumped like a normal person would. I, being a total spaz, fell out of my chair and onto the floor. So smooth.

Len, a giant sweetie, kneeled beside me checking me up and down for any injuries even though the only thing hurt was my ego, "Are you okay?"

I nodded, brushing myself off, "Yeah…"

In the corner of my eye I saw the rain pouring outside, "Oh shit! I didn't bring my umbrella!"

Fuuuuccckkk… I KNEW I was forgetting something this morning! Of course the one freaking day I forget my umbrella it's freaking pouring. My luck never ceases to amaze me. I looked back over at Len and I quickly apologized to the universe. Never mind! I'm the luckiest person in the whole world! I JUST GOT THE PERFECT BOYFRIEND, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME. I'M WARNING YOU UNIVERSE.

"I have an umbrella. I could walk you home." Len volunteered adjusting my clothes.

I thought aloud, "I don't know… I have no idea how far I live away from you. Who knows how long you'd have to stay out in the rain. I don't want you catching a cold…"

Len smiled softly, "I love how you're worried about the person with the umbrella catching a cold."

I blushed, "I-it's a legitimate concern!"

"I'm walking you home~" Len sang teasingly.

I pursed my lips, "I never agreed to that..."

"I never asked you to." he stuck out his tongue at me.

"So basically you're just going to do whatever you want despite my opinion?" I crossed my arms.

Len organized his things, looking behind his shoulder to shoot me a grin, "Yep!"

"It's a good thing I love you so much…" I commented, smirking as Len blushed.

As we started walking down the hall I asked, "Do you realize how adorable you are?"

"Wh-what?" his blush increased significantly and he ran a hand through his hair.

I nodded, "Seriously! Everything you do is cute! It used to drive me crazy…"

Len glanced over at me, "Oliver… How long had you liked me?"

Oh my gosh, I can't believe he's asking that! Ummm… Hmm…

"You know… I liked you since day one, honestly. I'd say I fell head over heels when we went to the park though. You?"

He adverted his eyes, "Umm… yesterday."

...What? He's only liked me for one day? How could his feelings be so strong for me then? They can't…

"That's when I started to feel physical attraction, anyway. I loved you emotionally for a long time. All I wanted to do was be with you. Then yesterday… Something finally clicked. It was like my senses had been numb, until you just touched me and I then I just felt sparks. You took my breath away…" He admitted softly, while getting out his umbrella.

I cupped his chin, shifting his gaze onto me, "I feel it too. Every time I touch you, it feels like fireworks."

"So you like it?" Len breathed in.

I stroked his cheek and whispered, "I absolutely love it. Almost as much as I love you."

I pressed my lips against his and once again felt the mind-blowing feeling. This must have been the definition of attraction because I could hardly pull myself away.

He took a few minutes to adjust our clothing and I waited patiently. I took the opportunity to just stare at the boy I was so in love with, who I could finally call my boyfriend.

Len finally opened the umbrella and smiled at me, "You ready to go?"

I jumped back with a yelp, "LEN! DON'T DO THAT!"

Len began hyperventilating and obsessively arranging everything around him, "What?!"

"That's so much bad luck!" I hissed backing further away from the tainted object.

"PPPFFFFTT!" Len double over, laughing his ass off.

"Lennn! Seriously!" I exclaimed.

He shook his head continuing to giggle, "Why are you scared of an old wive's tale?"

I blushed, "B-because bad luck is bad!"

He smiled cheekily, "Ohhhh I see."

"Oh hush!" I fumed as I marched towards the exit, careful to keep my distance until we were outside.

"I don't know if I should even be near you right now, you probably still have bad luck on you…" I muttered as I took his side under the umbrella.

Len glanced over at me with a blush, "Actually… I'm pretty sure I'm the luckiest person in the world."

"You seriously need to stop being the sweetest thing on this Earth, right now. You're going to give me diabetes." I laced his hand in mine and pecked his cheek.

I honestly cannot understand how as every second passes I fall more and more in love with him. He's got me wrapped around his pinkie finger, but he probably doesn't even know the half of it.

I hummed dreamily as I traced a heart on the back of Len's hand.

He squeezed my hand a couple of times and shifted his eyes over to me again. I couldn't deny, I loved the way he looked at me. I always knew I had his full attention. It was probably bad for my ego, but oh well. I guess I'm just going to be a little spoiled.

"I love the rain..." Len sighed.

I nodded, "Yeah and just the way everything feels. It's like... A new beginning or new life."

He admitted, "I've never really thought of the rain symbolically or anything. I just like it because I think it's beautiful… The only thing I don't like about the rain is getting wet."

I snickered, "Len, you're so silly."

Finally, we ended up in front of my house, "Well, this is my stop."

Len turned so he was facing me, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You always do." I smiled and kissed him.

He grinned from ear to ear as he waved, "Bye bye!"

"I love you!" I shouted after him.

He raced back over to where I was and gave me a quick peck, "I love you too!"

With that he took off down the street again, leaving me there glued to the spot as I watched his form disappear.

"I miss you already." I whispered as I opened the front door.

**A/N: Well damn, aren't they just the cutest couple? :3 Hey guys, I have bad news! Spring break is over (noooo...!) so I'm back in school. DX However, the fic shall go on! I just probably won't be able to update it every day. I'll try to do it as often as I can though! I hope you guys will continue to enjoy this since I have so many plans~! Muhahaha! *coughs awkwardly* Love you guys! ^-^**


	11. Chapter 11

Len's POV

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

I groaned as I turned off my alarm clock. Ugh, I can't believe it's 4:30 already. I still feel so tired. I don't want to get up. I swallowed and noticed that my throat felt kind of sore. Hopefully it was just a little congestion and would clear up after I had a shower.

I sighed as I carefully slid out of my covers and quickly made my bed. Suddenly I felt very cold and I started shivering. I rubbed my arms up and down trying to create some heat. Now I _really_ wanted to just crawl back into bed, but I willed myself to continue with my routine. I mean... I hardly could make it to school on time as it was.

I set my timer for 30 minutes after I got my iron and board ready. Every morning I ironed my clothes to get the wrinkles out because otherwise, they'd be a huge distraction. Unfortunately, I had learned the hard way that my obsessiveness extends to when I iron my clothes. Now I have to set so I don't burn them.

I leaned over the board as I ironed, coughing. It became so violent I had to set the iron down as I tried to calm down. It was probably a good thing because I felt kind of light headed. My face felt so hot, it was like my eyeballs were going to melt any second now.

Rin creaked open the door rubbing her eyes, "Len are you okay?"

I felt bad for waking her up, but I really couldn't help it. I felt so awful.

Rin came up to me and placed her hand on my head, "Mmm, it feels like you have a fever. You better get right back in bed, mister."

"Rin…" I heaved pointing towards the iron.

She nodded and unplugged it before helping me get back into bed. I don't know how long she was gone. Everything felt so fuzzy and liquid-y and hot.

I wiped my dripping nose with a tissue as Rin came back in holding a pill and some water.

I downed the pill as Rin stroked my hair, "Go back to sleep now, Lenny."

"Oliver…" I mumbled.

Rin looked puzzled, "Oliver? Isn't that your English tutor?"

I nodded as I muttered his name again.

"Don't worry, I'll let him know you're sick. Just go to sleep now." she chided as she turned off the light.

I was out before she even left the room.

**A/N: Oliver tried to tell you Len... Anyway, today shall be a double update day! Wooo! :D This chapter is just so short and I can't wait for you guys to get to the next chapter. Oh yes, this next chapter is monumental. I hope you're all ready. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Oliver's POV**

I grinned as I got out my study materials for Len. Oh my gosh I could not wait to see him again. My boyfriend. Heh, I still couldn't believe that was true! Man, is life amazing!

I heard the door open and my heart skipped a beat. I was just about to jump up and run into his arms when I saw an unfamiliar figure in the doorway.

"Hello? Are you Oliver?" she asked.

I nodded, "Yes, do I know you?"

She shook her head, "I don't think so. I'm Len's sister, Rin."

My eyes went wide. _She _was Len's sister? Now that I looked closer I could see that they did have a strong resemblance. What really threw me off at first was her dark hair and eyes. I mean… It's not unheard of, but it's certainly uncommon to have such a contrast among siblings. Maybe they're half siblings or something?

"It's nice to meet you. Is something wrong?" I asked furrowing my brow.

She sighed, "Yeah… Len seems to have caught the flu because he woke up with a fever this morning, poor thing."

I gasped, "He's sick?! Oh my gosh I knew this would happen! This'll probably sound really weird, but can I please see him?"

I had to seem him, I felt so bad. He must have been worn down by walking so long in the rain.

Her eyes widened and she looked me over, "Uhh, yeah. Sure. Follow me."

I did as she said, my head spinning from worry.

We had only been walking for 5-10 minutes by the time we arrived at their house. Oh my gosh that idiot! He lived really close to the school so that means after walking me home he must have had to walk all the way back and it was a fairly long walk to my house!

I shifted my weight as Rin opened the door, "His room is upstairs, first door on the right."

That's all I needed to hear. I flew up the stairs and opened his door.

"Len?" I called softly as I stepped into his room.

I put a hand over my mouth when I noticed he was still sound asleep. I slowly shut the door, until I heard a faint click. Then my eyes shifted to Len's room.

I felt a little intrusive looking at his room without permission, but I couldn't possibly contain my curiosity. As I expected the room was spotless- probably due to his OCD. I glanced around and noticed that he really didn't have a lot of decorations. I wonder if that's because he would spend too much of his time organizing them.

Then I noticed the vanity. At first I thought it might have been Rin's since it was covered in all sorts of make-up supplies, but as I looked around I realized there was no way that could be true. There was no other bed and no connecting door. It would be way too much of a hassle for it to be hers.

So all this is Len's?

My eyes began to glance over the labels. Moisturizers, foundation, powder, bronzer, blush, lip gloss, mascara, even an eyelash curler. I didn't even know what half of this stuff did and that was only a few of the things I saw. Some of them I couldn't even name. Then I noticed that he had a few boxes of blonde hair dye and treatments for coloring roots. What?

I walked over to the side of the bed and examined his hair. Sure enough I could see that he had brunette roots.

I mean… I didn't mind or anything. It was his hair so he could do what he wanted. I just couldn't figure out all the make-up stuff. Was he really that into his image?

Suddenly, I heard a moan as Len blinked open his eyes. His. Dark. Brown. Eyes.

His eyes went wide as he sat up, "Oliver?!"

He went into a coughing fit.

I was about to try and rub his back when he turned away, his hands hiding his face, "Don't look at me!"

Still a little dazed from the drastic change in Len's appearance I sat on the bed, "Len… it's okay, I don't care that you're sick."

He shook, his head, his voicing shaking, "No, I… I'm not ready! I don't want you to see me like this!"

Len jumped out of bed and went to the vanity desperately starting to put things on his face.

I looked at his reflection in the mirror. His brown eyes and roots I was still getting used to, but he still looked great. I could tell now though that he did put on a lot of products. His face was paler and had less color, he had some blemishes that dotted his face, and bags under his eyes. Like I said though, he still was incredibly attractive. Hell, he was even sick right now and he still looked amazing. I don't see why he would be upset at all.

I keeled down beside him, "Len, Love, you honestly look great. You don't feel good right now so could you please go back to bed? I came here to wait on you so you could get better, you know."

Once again he brought his hands to his face, except this time he started sobbing, "I don't want you to see me like this! I hate the way I look! I hate it! If you see me like this you're going to want to break up with me! I… I…!"

I pulled his head onto my shoulder and I stroked his hair as he sniveled, "Len, you know I don't love you for your looks. I fell in love with you because you're sweet and kind and gentle and honestly the best person I have ever met. You're absolutely gorgeous inside and out. I'm in love with you, not the stuff you put on your face."

I need him to know just how much I love him. I don't understand why he would think I'd be so shallow as to break up with him over his looks, but I could see he was seriously concerned. This must have been a great insecurity of his.

Then my mind flashed to all the times I had seen him messing with his clothes or his hair. The way he would sometimes adjust my clothes or the way things were organized. Those were all just forms of looks. That's what he's obsessed with.

My mind went over what OCD was again. I had read a little about it so I could be more aware of Len's condition. People who suffered from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder were obsessed with something. That something strove them to avoid it or fix it to the extreme.

Len specifically had said that he thought I would break up with him if he didn't fix his appearance. He's afraid that his looks will drive people away. I wonder how many hours he took doing his make-up, his hair, his clothes. Probably too many.

As soon as I let go he went back to trying to put on his make-up. It wasn't going very well because his nose was running, he was coughing and he was still crying. I felt so bad, he looked so ashamed and embarrassed. It broke my heart.

I stopped trying to fight him about fixing himself up. It was just going to make him feel worse. Instead I grabbed him a couple of tissues and watched with a mixture of curiosity and concern.

Every layer of product he put on hurt, because I knew for everything he did he was trying to fix something he hated about himself. It was also hard to watch because I knew he didn't feel good at all. I did my best to make sure he felt as comfortable as possible. I rubbed his back, grabbed him tissues, fetched him advil, water, cough drops. 3 hours had passed already. 3. Hours.

Len must have done this every morning. For the first time I suddenly realized how severe his condition was. I had thought it had been fairly suppressed by his medication and that he only did the organizing and arranging of clothes and items. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.

I put a hand on his knee and squeezed, just a reminder I was still there. I would of told him I loved him, but I knew that if I did that while he was in this mindset he would probably just ask himself why or not believe me.

Finally he was completely done with everything, except his color contacts.

I grabbed his hand before he could reach them, "Love, could you keep your contacts off, just for today. I want to have the chance to stare into your beautiful eyes."

It was true, he really did have gorgeous chocolate eyes. I really wanted to just stare into them they were that beautiful. Also, I hoped maybe he could slowly be weaned off changing his appearance and fall in love with himself. I know I would love to see him not worry so much over something so superficial.

He took a shaky breath, "You mean my… my…"

I took his hand in mine and smiled, "Your lovely brown eyes."

He glanced over at me and then away, "You really like them?"

I nodded, "I love them."

"So you don't like my blue eyes?" He muttered and I could hear the mortification in his voice.

I was walking on eggshells, but instead of eggshells that I was breaking it was Len's self-esteem. I… It was so hard to explain. It's not that I didn't love his blue eyes. Honestly, I don't think I would care what color his eyes were or his hair. I just… I wished he could be comfortable in his own skin. Even if he only felt that way in front of one person. I hope that person could be me. That he could know that he was enough, just the way he was. He didn't have to change a single thing about himself in order for me to love him. I wish that I could explain that in a way that he would understand…

"Len, it's not that-" I tried to explain, but was caught off guard as Len started to cry again.

Knowing his face would get 'messed up' again I quickly grabbed some tissues and rubbed his back. Len changing his appearance made him feel better about himself. He looked just the way he wanted, or as close as he could get I suppose. He must have felt I was rejecting what made him feel beautiful.

I couldn't do this to him. Not right now. He already felt terrible. I… I was just making it worse.

As Len wiped away his tears I shook my head, "Oh, love! All I meant was I love your blue eyes and your brown. I just wanted you to know that I love you no matter what. I love you no matter if you just woke up in the morning, you're sick, or you just finished getting ready! And I don't mean I love you just because I love who you are as a person. I just think you're attractive no matter what!"

I punctuated my point by kissing him on the mouth. I knew he was sick, but I couldn't care less. If he wouldn't listen to what I was saying, maybe he would listen to my body. I climbed into his lap, deepening our kiss.

I love you.

I love you.

I love _you._

**A/N: So Len's secret is out. He hates himself and I know exactly how he feels. My whole life I had struggled with my low self esteem and there were a few years I honestly hated myself. It hasn't been until recently that I've been able to say that I don't hate myself. I'm not sure if I could say I love myself yet, but I have made a lot of progress and I just hope that I won't ever have those feelings again. This chapter is dedicated to my darling, angelic girlfriend who helped me through this phase of my life. To anyone else who may hate themselves- no one can save you but yourself. Others can help though. Never give up hope. It gets better. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Len's POV**

I blinked my eyes closed unable to stop my tears as Oliver kissed me. I… I… How can he still love me after seeing me? I was so hideous. I hated everything about myself. Even after I finished improving my appearance I still felt like I was barely decent. I never wanted Oliver to see me that way. Ever. It was my worse nightmare.

But he did see me and now he was kissing me. Why? I'm sick, ugly, shallow… Why doesn't he hate me? Does he really love me?

I love him. I love him more than I love myself. He deserved so much more than me, but I hoped with my whole heart he wouldn't noticed that.

I'm so sorry, Oliver. I'm sorry I'm so selfish.

"Len, how're you-" my sister called, but abruptly stopped.

I pulled away from Oliver coughing as my heart sped up. I hadn't told Rin or anyone about Oliver being my boyfriend yet. I… I just had no idea how to tell them. I knew I was a burden on everyone because of my disorder. I didn't want them to have another reason to loathe me. How was I going to explain that I wasn't "gay", but I was? Well actually, I didn't even know if I could claim that. Maybe I was demisexual with homosexual tendencies? Or maybe I was demisexual with heterosexual tendencies but Oliver was an exception? There was just no way I could explain to them something I didn't even understand. The only thing I did know was that I loved Oliver, regardless. I guess I'll just have to try and explain that.

Before I could say anything though Rin was screaming, "HOW DARE YOU?! HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY BROTHER WHEN HE'S FEVERISH! YOU'RE DISGUSTING!"

She came up to us and was about to rip Oliver away from me when I threw my arms around him, "No Rin, stop! He's my boyfriend! I love him!"

She plopped down on the bed, shaking her head disbelievingly, "Len… when did this happen?"

I held Oliver close, needing him for courage, "We just started dating yesterday. But he's my whole world. He's the only person who's ever made me feel like I might be beautiful. I won't believe him, but he never gives up on me. I think he might… actually… love me for me."

Oliver placed a hand on my face, "I do love you for you."

My nose dripped and he got up and got me a tissue before I even asked.

Rin looked back and forth between the two of us, "So you two are…?"

Oh gosh I knew this was going to come up. What am I going to say?

"Yes, we're in love." Oliver proclaimed proudly.

I smiled at him. Maybe what we were didn't have to be so complicated at all.

Rin nodded, "Alright…"

I looked up at her with concern, "Rin… do you still love me?"

"I'll always love you, Lenny. Even if I do catch you mackin' on your boyfriend." she winked.

"Well, I guess you guys must be pretty thirsty since you're making out while you're sick. But uh whatever you're into I guess." she got up to close the door, but added glaring daggers into Oliver, "Don't do anything _too_ stupid."

Then she left.

I stared down at the floor, "She's right… It is kind of strange that you would kiss a sick person."

Oliver squeezed my hand, "It was worth it."

I bit my lip, "Do you think of me as less of a man because I use..."

"Did you suddenly forget I'm gay? Liking men is kind of the whole point." Oliver reminded me.

I crawled down next to him on the floor and rested my head on his shoulder, "I still don't understand why you love me."

He wrapped his arms around me, "You don't have to. All you have to do is get used to me always being here. ...Also bring me some soup when I catch your flu."

I glanced up at him, "I'm sorry."

"I'm not." he kissed me again.

I couldn't help but grin as I stared into his eyes, "I love you."

"I love you too, Handsome."

**A/N: Awwwwwwwwww!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Oliver's POV**

"You remembered the soup." I smiled from ear to ear.

He blushed, "Well… I have no idea how great it'll be since I made it."

My eyes went wide as I sniveled, "You made it yourself?"

He nodded, "I thought it might help you get better faster if it had a little love in it."

I shook my head, coughing, "You're- You're so chessy."

He rubbed my back as I calmed down the irritation in my throat. I grabbed the furnace, enjoying the warmth under my fingertips.

I blew on it a couple times before taking a tentative sip.

"Mmm!" I exclaimed beaming at him, "Len, this is amazing! What is it?"

"Oh it's Chicken Miso soup." he informed me.

I jumped up from the bed and spit out my current mouthful into the toilet. OH GOD I JUST ATE A DEAD ANIMAL! OH MY GOD I FEEL SICK!

Just the thought of eating a cute little chicken was enough to make me throw up what I had already swallowed.

"Oliver?! Are you, okay?!" he asked as he held my hair and patted my back as I vomited.

Well if it wasn't enough that one of my basic morals was broken, Len also had to witness the full glory of me up-chucking. What a truly wonderful day this has been. Thanks Universe.

I wiped my mouth, my mind still imaging the dead flesh and blood I must have just consumed, "Len… I'm a vegetarian!"

His eyes went wide, "Oh my God, I had no idea! Oliver, I'm so sorry!"

I teared up a little as I vigorously brushed my teeth, "I fought far shure dat I tod ya." (I thought for sure that I told you.)

"No, never. I would have remembered something like that… Oh my gosh. I'm such a terrible boyfriend…" he started organizing my knick-knacks.

I washed my mouth out with water and wiped my face before I stumbled over to him, grabbing his arm, "No, I'm sorry, it must have been my fault. I guess my mind must have been preoccupied with you…"

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and kissed my forehead, "You're such a sweetheart."

I blushed as I felt my nose run, "I'm sorry that you wasted your time making such a nice meal for me. Also, I'm sorry you had to see me throw up. I'm sure that was super gross."

He grabbed me a tissue and led me back to bed, "Don't worry about that, Oliver. And don't worry, you haven't scared me away or anything."

Len leaned down and brushed his lips against mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled, "Why does this seem so familiar?"

He rubbed his nose against mine, grinning, "Because we're literally crazy for each other."

We locked lips again and I was in heaven.

Even being sick couldn't ruin the feeling of being touched by Len. The heat and sparks were still insane. I would have thought that this feeling would have faded away after our first kiss, but it was quite the opposite. The heat between us was so strong now I thought I might spontaneously combust into flames. I wanted to touch him so badly.

I laid down on the bed, pulling him on top of me. I ran my hands down his chest as I felt his hands rest on my hips.

Suddenly, I rolled out from under him and began to violently cough. Len spooned me from behind, rubbing my arm as I finished up my coughing fit.

I took a deep breath and relaxed into Len's body.

"You're so warm." I mumbled as I closed my eyes.

I felt his smile as he kissed the back of my neck.

My neck felt tingly from his touch and I took a shuddering breath from the pleasure, "I love you."

"I love you too. Always." he whispered in my ear.

I drifted off to sleep as older versions of Len and me swam around in my mind.

**A/N: This is what happens when you kiss a sick person, Ollie. XD And gosh you crazy, gay, thirsty teenagers! Stop macking while one of you is sick, you weirdos. XD Anyway, I hope you guys are enjoying the fluffy chapters! I think we all needed some fluff after that heavy stuff. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Len's POV**

"This is impossible!" I groaned.

There's no way I can do this. The English test was tomorrow. Tomorrow. Oliver and I were suppose to have studied the past few weeks, but what had happened was since Oliver's Dance test had been earlier we focused majorly on that. Then this past week when we were suppose to cram we started dating, then we both caught the flu, and I just totally forgot about it. Now it was tomorrow and there was no way in Hell I could pass. We had barely covered a third of this unit's material and I hardly understood that.

Oliver rubbed my back, "It's going to be okay, Love. We just have to power through this and I'm sure you'll be fine…"

I huffed getting aggravated, "How can you say that? I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing!"

/Please calm down, Len. You can do this./, Oliver squeezed my hand as he spoke in his native tongue.

I took a breath, /I am sorry… Not mad at you. Just… not happy./

He brought a hand to my face, /I know./

/Your English has gotten a lot better./, he added.

/Thanks you./, I smiled.

Oliver laid back in his chair, /Honestly… It's so nice to speak English again./

/You miss England?/ I asked.

He looked far away, his mind probably returning to a time and place far away, /Would you miss Japan?/

My heart dropped as I even considered the thought. I loved Japan. It's my home. I loved the cherry blossoms during the springtime, the old Buddhist temples, the silhouette of Mount Fuji in the distance, the skyscrapers in Tokyo that were lit up with blinding neon lights…

Oliver had to live with those sort of feelings everyday.

I hugged him, /I am sorry./

He squeezed me back, /It's okay… I love Japan too. I just wish there was a way I could be in both at the same time./

/Maybe we visit someday? Togethers./ I suggested.n's

I would love to see the place Oliver was born. It must have been amazing. Plus to be able to see Oliver's face light up when he returned… I wouldn't want to miss it for the world.

Oliver critiqued my sentence in Japanese, but he couldn't hide his grin. I knew he would love the idea.

His eyes met mine and we just stared at each other for a moment. It probably wasn't the greatest idea to have my boyfriend be my tutor. Oliver was the only one who understood me though. Plus he was pretty stubborn. If anyone could teach me English it would be him. I believed in him.

"Len…" /You/ "are" /my/ "home", Oliver whispered alternating between English and Japanese.

My eyes watered as I hugged him, /I love you./

He traced a heart on my back, "I love you too."

Once I pulled away, he cupped my face, kissing me quickly, "Now then… Oh yes, let's go over semi-colons."


	16. Chapter 16

**Oliver's POV**

I sat on the table kicking my feet. I wonder how Len did on his test? Oh gosh… What if he didn't pass? I mean... we kind of rushed over everything. Will he be mad? Aww, or what if he's sad? What am I going to do?!

Wait why am I doing preparing for the worse? Do I really have that little faith in Len? Come on, Oliver! ...I'll accept my 'worst boyfriend ever' award now. I'm sure he did fine… maybe. English may not be his… forte, but I really think he was starting to get it. I hope so anyway.

Suddenly the door was violently thrown open, causing me to jump to my feet.

I wasn't on my feet for long though.

Before I even realized it, Len had run over and picked me up, spinning me around, "Oliver! I did it! I passed!"

He set me back down, but before I could congratulate him he pushed his lips against mine. Just when I was about to deepen the kiss, he pulled away making me purse my lips sourly.

The feeling of dissatisfaction melted away when I saw Len's smile, "Oh my gosh, Len! That's amazing! I'm so proud of you!"

He beamed, "Me too!"

I licked my lips, "You know… we should celebrate. Want to come over to my place?"

Len's gaze drifted between my eyes and my lips as he blushed, "Oh um that sounds good!"

I grabbed hold of Len's hand, "We should stop by your place first though so you can drop off your stuff."

"You wouldn't mind?" he asked politely.

I shook my head, "Not at all."

It really wasn't a big deal since Len lived so close to the school.

After a short walk to his house Len turned to me, "I'll be right back."

"Wait, Len!" I called.

"Yes?"

I licked my lips again, "You may want to bring a few things. Just in case you want to stay the night."

Len froze to the spot, "Stay the night?"

I nodded, "Mhmm. It's a Friday night. Why not?"

His face was aflame as he tugged his shirt, "I… I… Okay…"

Without another word he scurried inside. I smirked to myself, a little pleased that I could draw such a reaction from my uber cute boyfriend.

Len came down after about a half hour. I didn't mind. I had been plenty busy imagining how this night was going to go over and over again.

Readjusting his small duffle bag he took hold of my hand again and we were on our way.

With every step my heart beat harder and harder. My knees felt a little wobbly, but that didn't even compare to the light feeling in my body. Like every part of me was holding its breath.

"I've never actually had a sleepover before." Len admitted with a blush, smoothing down his shirt.

I glanced over at him, my gaze lingering, "I hope I'll be able to make it enjoyable for you."

He smiled at me, making my heart skip a beat, "Anything with you is enjoyable, Oliver."

We finally arrived at my house.

Once we entered my room Len asked, "Hey where would you like me to put-"

I ripped the bag off of him just allowing it to fall to the floor. I wrapped my arms around Len's neck, kissing him hard on the mouth. Using my weight to force him onto his back on top of my bed.

"Oliver…" Len breathed, still dazed from my sudden make-out attack.

I traced his jawline, then his lips. I wanted to touch all of him. Every. Last. Inch.

I dipped down to his neck, planting light kisses. Then, I latched my lips onto his fair skin. I lightly licked the area enjoying his taste as I heard his breath hitch. I dragged my teeth over the sensitive area, slowly increasing the force.

Len's arms pulled my body right against his as he lightly moaned. I loved feeling our bodies so close. Pressing against each other. The slightest movement adding to the overcoming pleasure.

Once I finished torturing him, I leaned up, my own saliva still coating my lips. I brought my attention back to Len's handsome face. I placed my hands on both of his cheeks before bringing our lips together again.

I felt Len's tongue reach my lips which I opened for him instantly. I groaned as our tongues collided, overwhelming my senses with his taste. I loved this feeling of intimacy. The way I could feel the heat building between us. I couldn't believe that Len could actually feel this insane pleasure too. That _I _made his heart pound and feel breathless and tingly all over. I wanted to make him feel so good that his whole body would yearn for my touch.

I broke our passionate kiss and stripped my already sweat stained t-shirt carelessly tossing it to the floor. I wasn't afraid of having sex. I didn't want to just mess around either though. I loved Len. This would just be another way of loving him. After this, I would have loved him every way possible.

"I want you…" I whispered as I worked on pulling his t-shirt off as well.

Len's eyes went wide, he quickly sat up, grabbing hold of my hands, "Oliver I… I don't want to do this. Please stop."

I crawled off of him, covering my mouth- horrified, "I… I'm so sorry."

I ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind. I laid my back against the door, slowly sliding down it.

I touched my face. Who was that? Was that me? Some horny boy who didn't even consider his boyfriend's feelings? The person he loved most in the world?

Bitter tears, rolled down my cheeks. I just… I just wanted to be with him. I wanted to be as close to him as possible. I got so lost in exploring this new territory that I had not only lost my mind, I lost him as well. My poor, Len. He must have felt so used the way I just jumped on him like that. How was I ever going to look him in the face again?

**A/N: It's a fact that teenagers have sexual urges (which is completely natural and okay!). Not only do we have sexual urges, but we're exposed to it all the time- books, movies, _fanfiction_. We just see it everywhere and it gets so confusing. I wrote this chapter in particular because it is a real struggle and one I think most teenagers have dealt with. Especially if you're in love or think you're in love. All these urges and feelings can get so confusing and sometimes the hormones just take over. Touching someone without consent is inexcusable however. Hormones can make you a little hazy, but they certainly don't turn you into a wild animal. Another thing about sex that is presented here is you have to consider the other person's feelings. Their is a huge spectrum of moral beliefs about sex and even if they have certain morals, their feelings can still effect their decision to give consent. Oliver believed he was ready (which in many cases isn't true for most teenagers, but that is something that can only be determined by oneself). Len knew he wasn't ready. That doesn't mean he doesn't love Oliver or is not attracted to Oliver- he's just not ready and Oliver has to respect that which he does by not continuing after Len withdrew his consent which is also okay. Just because you feel comfortable making out or whatever does not mean you have to continue. If you don't feel comfortable- even if you can't explain why- then don't continue. If this person truly respects you they won't go against your wishes. Even if you are experimenting or just having fun you don't want to do those things with someone who doesn't at least respect you.**

**Anyways, sorry I got all lecture-y there! I just thought it was important to talk about this. I mean, it's a real thing and I've been in both Oliver and Len's place myself. I hope this helped in either educating you guys or giving you guys a sense of relief that some one else has been through that and felt those feelings, if that makes sense. **


	17. Chapter 17

**Len's POV**

"...Oliver?" I called through the door worriedly as I heard muffled sobs.

I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to. I really should have chosen my words more carefully. I was just… so shocked.

"Oliver… I… You know, I love you. I… I want to have sex with you. I just.. I'm not ready. I'm too insecure. I'm just… I'm so scared of loosing you. I know you love me, but… I'm terrified that one day you're going to wake up and not want me anymore. When that day comes, I will completely fall to pieces. I can't give you all of me, because I can't believe that you really want to be with me. It's… impossible."

I sobbed, "I don't want to lose you, Oliver! I want to be with you forever! But I just know that I'm deluding myself! You're going to leave me someday! You're going to break my heart! But I'll still love you! Even when you move on, I'll still love you! I'll always love you!"

Oliver, still on his knees, opened the door and crawled into my lap, sobbing.

Both of us were balling hysterically, but I still couldn't stand the sight of my beloved crying. I wiped his tears away, but this only seemed to make him cry even harder.

"I LOVE YOU!" Oliver shouted.

I could feel my heart melt and break at the same time, "Oliver…! Stop making me believe there's a chance that's actually true!"

He shook my shoulders, "It IS true! I love you! I love you! I love you! I'm never leaving you! I'm absolutely, completely in love with you! I have to make you believe it! I have to!"

I wiped away my tears, "Why?!"

"BECAUSE IT HURTS!", he screamed, "Everyday I have to watch you break yourself! I know you hate yourself! I know you think you're worthless! But you're so wrong! Len, you are my everything! You are my heart, my life, my light! Every time you say those awful things, you break my heart!"

I covered my face with my hands, "Do you think I want to feel like this?! You think I _want _to hate myself?! I can't change for _you_ when I can't even change for _myself_! This is why I said you can't love me! Who could possibly love someone who can't even love himself?!"

"...I can." Oliver whispered, grabbing hold of my hands.

"No you can't!" I sobbed.

He pulled me into a hug, "I can and I will."

I buried my head in the crook of his neck, "You… you.. can't."

"I love you, Len."

"Oliver..."

"I love you so much."

"Stop."

"I love you more than anything."

"..."

"I love you."

"I… I love you too."

**A/N: Oh man is this chapter is near and dear to my heart. It's so powerful, so raw. I don't know, it just gets me- it hurts. It reminds me of how much I hurt the ones I love by hating myself, but I couldn't do anything about it. I already hurt because I hurt myself, but it was even worse knowing it hurt the people I loved. It's... unimaginably painful. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Oliver's POV**

I hugged my pillow to my chest. Len…

He was only in the other room, but he felt like worlds away. How is it possible to feel so numb that it's painful?

I sighed into the pillow. I hate feeling so powerless. Am I doing something wrong? Do I just need to try harder? I… I don't know what to do for him.

It didn't make any sense. How could Len actually hate himself?

I shivered as my mind replayed his confession, his darkest secret. This whole time I knew it. I knew he hated himself. It was just so hard to believe when he was smiling like that. Was that just facade?

No… There's no way he could fake a happiness like that. He was just naturally a person filled with light and joy, I could see it in his eyes. He only lost that light when you reminded him of himself.

How does such a beautiful person that spreads so much love get caught in the clutches of something as ugly as self-hatred?

"Oliver." Len whispered.

I instantly sat up, finding Len hiding his face with his hands, "I… I've never let anyone see me like this. I'll only let you see me this way. Only you."

He slowly removed his hands, revealing the face I had only been able to catch a glimpse of when he had been as sick as a dog.

"I wish you could see yourself the way I do." I told him, my eyes memorizing him.

He honestly looked like an angel. His skin was pale but it glowed- especially with the contrast of his dark brown eyes. His blonde-dyed locks fell around his face, framing it perfectly. He didn't need anything to make him beautiful. Not a damn thing.

He started hyperventilating.

"Len?" I asked worry evident in my voice.

I went over to his side, but before I touched him, I recoiled.

He began to sweat profusely, "I… I… will… work through… this."

He held onto a chair as he desperately reached for miscellaneous items on my desk to arrange.

"Len?!" I yelled, barely able to catch him as he fell to the floor.

His breathing was fast, heavy and ragged, "The… red… bottle…"

I tried to set him on the floor as softly as possible, but also as quickly as possible. That wasn't the greatest move when you mix in I was beyond freaked out.

Hoping I hadn't given my boyfriend any brain damage, I scurried over to his bag. I unzipped every pocket and threw things around haphazardly.

OH MY GOD WHERE IS IT?! WHAT IF IT'S NOT HERE?! WHAT DO I DO? IT HAS TO BE IN HERE! IT HAS TO BE!

My heart pumped violently, and my hands shook a little from the adrenaline. Finally, at the bottom of the bag I found a red bottle labeled "Alprazolam".

I rushed over to him, quickly undoing the cap and pouring a tablet into his hand.

Grabbing an old cup of water from my bedside table, I sat him up and he popped the i into his mouth. I brought the water to his lips, unfortunately getting water all over him in the process. He was shaking so bad though… Way worse than I was.

Len laid back onto the floor, folding his body into the fetal position as he continued to tremble. I jumped up and wet a washcloth, folding it and putting it on his forehead in an attempt to soothe him.

"Oliver…" Len whimpered.

My heart broke into microscopic pieces.

"I'm right here, Love. I'm right here." I reassured him, rubbing his back.

It seemed like we had been there forever, even though in reality it must have been 15 minutes.

Finally, it seemed that Len had calmed down. His heart rate was back to normal, his breathing had slowed down, he wasn't shaking anymore, but he just kept laying there.

"Len…?" I whispered.

He continued to lie there, looking… looking empty.

"I can't do this anymore." he breathed.

"Sweetheart? What's wrong?" I asked, a chill climbing up my spine.

He didn't even look at me, "I can't do this anymore."

I gasped, "Len? You can't… You don't mean…"

That was the last thing he said. He just continued to stare at the ceiling.

I swallowed. You're okay, Oliver. You're okay.

I glanced down at Len who was fighting to keep his eyes open. There's no way I'm letting him sleep on the floor.

I tenderly wrapped my arms around him trying to get a decent hold. This was probably stupid. I wasn't very strong and Len was bigger than I was. This is so stupid. But I don't care.

I used all my strength and somehow was able to lift him up and awkwardly slide him into my bed.

"Goodnight, Len." I whispered as I pulled the covers up around him.

That was when I lost it. I stuffed my hand into my mouth, desperately trying to keep quiet for Len as I fell to my knees. The tears rushed down my face.

Things couldn't really be over… Not just like that. He can't leave me. I thought he loved me? I thought we were special. I would have given him everything. Every last bit of me. I wanted to be with him forever. This wasn't enough. This was no where near enough.

Len, I love you. I love you so much. I'm not just going to stop. There's no way I ever could. Oh God please… Please don't let me go.

**A/N: Sorry, guys. I guess this is the end of Len and Oliver. Or maybe... maybe there's hope. What do you guys think? **


	19. Chapter 19

**Len's POV**

"Mmmm…" I groaned as light invaded my vision, blinding me.

I blinked open my eyes and was a little startled to see I wasn't in my room.

Where was I?

My eyes floated around the room until I saw a note laying on the bedside table.

I gingerly unfolded it and instantly recognized Oliver's handwriting. Some parts of the letter seemed to be smudged by… tear drops?

_Dear Len,_

_This will probably seem cowardly, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't face you knowing that we're _. I won't lie, it's killing me. I still love you with all my heart. I don't want to _ you. I won't. I just need some time to heal. I hope you understand. _

_-Oliver_

"Oliver?!" I yelled as I bursted through the door, the note falling out of my hand.

He's not here. I have to find him. I _have_ to find him.

I have to dry his tears.

I raced out of the house. I had no idea where he would be. I just kept running. Oliver, don't leave me. Make me believe this is all a bad dream. Make me believe that you still love me.

I want to believe it.

Coming to a stop, I breathed heavily as I looked around.

Where would Oliver go?

I sighed as I leaned against the wall. What am I doing? There's no way I'll be able to find him. This is impossible.

"Sissy? Can we get some cinnamon buns from _Teto's Bakery_?" a little girl pleaded.

The older girl who looked like she might be in one of my classes smiled, "Well, I suppose so. You've been a good girl, Sakura."

Cinnamon buns. Those were Oliver's favorite.

My heart pounded as I crossed the street. I hesitated when I came to the bakery doors. What was I even planning to say to Oliver? I don't even know what's going on…

It didn't matter. I want to see him. I _need _to see him no matter what.

I entered the bakery, my breath catching in my throat as I scanned the tables. Nothing. I swallowed down my hope. He wasn't here.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

/Fuck!/ a boyish voice cursed in English. The table he was under shook, apparently he had hit his head on it.

I dropped to my knees peering under the table, "Oliver?!"

Before I could say anything, he crawled out as fast as he could. Swiftly leaping to his feet, he bolted out the door.

I sprinted after him, desperately yelling, "Oliver!"

Why is he running from me?! What the Hell happened last night?!

It was more difficult keeping up with Oliver than I thought it would be. I may have been more athletic, but he was made for running with those long legs of his. Plus we were running through the city (that probably wasn't a good idea) and he was shorter than I was so it was easier for him to weave in and out of the crowds.

Why am I chasing after him? Why don't I just give up? Why can't I let him go? Wouldn't he be better off without me, anyway?

I didn't stop though. I couldn't stop running after him. I don't think I ever could.

I know Oliver deserves more than me, but I don't think anyone could love him more than I do.

No, no one ever could.

I took in my surroundings and realized that we were in the park. Hoping the grass would be a sufficient cushion I increased my speed. My lungs were on fire, but I didn't notice the pain. I was absolutely elated.

I _should _ be with Oliver.

I tackled him to the ground.

"Len… Why're doing this? Why won't you leave me alone?!" Oliver demanded.

I took his hand in my own, "Angel… Please tell me what's wrong."

He exploded, "What do you mean 'what's wrong'? You… You broke up with me!"

Oliver pulled his hand away from mine, "And now you're toying with me! I… I told you I needed time! I…"

I cupped his face, "Oliver, I don't understand what you're talking about. I never broke up with you."

"...What?" he blinked.

I shook my head, "I never broke up with you. I never want to."

He furrowed his eyebrows, "But last night… You said… You said that you couldn't do this anymore."

I adjusted his hat, "Oh, I was referring to my panic attacks. I was kind of… giving a pep talk to myself? I don't want to have another panic attack the next time you see me… naturally. I'm sorry if I seemed a little off. That particular medication gives me strong side effects so I try to only take it when necessary."

"So… you still love me?" he whispered.

I nodded leaning in for a kiss, "I'll always love you."

He pulled away.

"Oliver…?" I breathed feeling as though he had just stabbed me in the chest.

He ripped blades of grass from the ground, "Len, I'm really sorry about last night. How I… I tried to have sex with you. I didn't even ask you what you wanted. I'm… I'm so disgusting!"

I wrapped my arms around him, "Oh Angel… You know you didn't do anything against my will, right? You stopped as soon as I asked. No harm done."

He frowned, "You shouldn't have had to ask."

"We never even talked about having sex. You had no idea how I felt about it. That's not your fault." I assured him.

"Oliver," I tucked a stray hair behind his ear, "kiss me."

He hesitantly wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to his body. I held my breath as we stared into each other's eyes. I loved his amber eyes- they were so warm. They reminded me of the golden glow of sunlight.

After what felt like a few centuries, but were merely a couple of heartbeats, he pressed his lips against mine. I tangled my fingers into his hair and fell onto my back. I let out a low moan as the kiss deepened- heightening the pleasure.

Oh God, I loved the way he felt on top of me. I loved the feel of his weight pressing into me. I loved the way he dragged his hands across my body. I loved the way I could run my fingernails down his back. I loved the way he made me feel like I was the only boy he could see.

"I want you too." I breathed before pushing my lips against his again.

**A/N: Oh gosh, I'm sorry if I freaked you out last chapter! Everything is okay! This ship has not sunk! ...Yet. Muhaha! Love you guys~ :3**


	20. Chapter 20

**Oliver's POV**

"I want to see Len so bad." I whispered as I waited.

I felt myself blush as I remembered the other day at the park. Oh my gosh Lennnn…!

Just the way he looked at me, I thought I was going to melt! And I'm not going to lie... the way he tackled my was really, really sexy. Oh and his eyes!

His chocolate-brown eyes. It was really nice to see him without his make-up on… and not have a panic attack. Not having a panic attack is great.

Hmm, now that I thought about it, it was weird. He actually went outside knowing he didn't have his make-up on. The night before he had a panic attack just letting _me _see him. He was really okay with going out in public like that? That doesn't make sense… he even said he only wanted me to see him that way.

Could he have forgotten? But how could-? Holy shit.

He forgot about that because he was so worried about me.

My face was on fire. Calm down, Oliver! Calm down!

"Hey, you!" Len called as he entered the room wearing his dashing smile.

How do I breathe again?

I jumped up and rushed into his arms. This was my favorite part of the day. That moment when I get to hold him so close to me. He was so warm and soft and I just couldn't resist him at all.

Luckily, I think he's pretty crazy about me too.

He tightened his hold around my waist, kissing me. A sound almost like a click echoed in my mind, but was soon forgotten.

"I love you." I whispered looking into his cerulean eyes.

He squeezed me, "I love you too, Oliver."

I stepped away donning rosy cheeks. I grinned as I noticed Len was blushing too.

Len smoothed out the wrinkles in his shirt, "Soo…?"

"Sooo...?" I awkwardly echoed.

Oh my gosh we've only been dating for almost 2 weeks, have we really run out of things to talk about?!

Len chuckled, "Heh, this reminds me of when we first met."

"Haha yeah! I don't know which is more awkward: meeting the hot guy or dating him!"

His face went scarlet and he bit his lip, "At least there's a back-up plan when you're dating."

Oh my gosh he has got to stop doing that! I adverted my gaze from his lips, blushing like mad, "Yeah! Umm… so what's your favorite color?"

He snickered, "Are we really doing this?"

I pursed my lips, "Oh just answer the damn question!"

"Yellow. You?"

"Blue. See doesn't our relationship feel much stronger now?"

He leaned against the wall shaking his head, "Loads."

"Go on. Ask me a question now." I sat down on the table

He ran a hand through his hair, "Okay… What's your favorite genre of music?"

"Electronic."

"Rock."

"Mmmm… Why did you want to become a Vocaloid?"

He wrapped his arms around himself, "I just… wanted people to like me."

"Awww… People will absolutely love you one day. I know I already do." I smiled.

He walked over to me, with a blush.

I smirked, "Is it time to implement that back up plan, then?"

He nodded as he leaned in to kiss me.

Thank goodness, I thought, as I wrapped my arms around my irresistible boyfriend.

**A/N: Awww fluffiness! Yay! :D Don't worry though there is still PLENTY more drama to come! X3 In fact, there was a hint hidden within this chapter for the next bit of drama! It's so subtle though no one probably even noticed! No one expects a thing! Muhahahaha! **


	21. Chapter 21

**Len's POV**

Are they looking at _me_? I glanced around the school hallway sporadically. I just… I couldn't shake the feeling that I had eyes on me.

I furiously began tugging at my shirt and then my hair. Oh my gosh do I look okay? I didn't forget anything this morning did I?! I don't think so…

Huh, the area around my classroom seemed a little crowded today.

People were huddled together, but I seemed to get through without any trouble. Being so close though I started to hear whispers…

"Is that him?"

"Well, he is a good dancer."

"It's always the attractive ones isn't it?"

"I just can't believe he's _gay_."

I felt my whole body tense. Gay. Oliver's gay. I'm… "gay". But they- they can't be talking about me.

My heart pounded as I entered the classroom. Everyone was looking at me.

I swallowed as I walked over to my seat.

They were talking about me.

"I told you Len was gay!"

"I always thought he was a little _off_."

"There's just no way I can picture Len dating Oliver. They're both too feminine. Who's the guy in the relationship?"

They knew about Oliver. They knew about us.

How is he doing? Is he okay?

Why won't these people stop gossipping about us? I haven't even talked to half of them. They think they know me.

So what if we're both guys?

I love him.

He loves me.

Is there really anything wrong with that?

I noticed a discarded school newspaper lying on the floor. My eyes went wide as I picked it up.

The front cover was Oliver and I kissing.

"Len?" the classroom door slid open.

Oliver stood in the doorway. I could hear a couple comments being made.

"Oh I wonder if they'll kiss! That would be hot!"

"Yeah, he's so gay. Just look at him."

"Wow, Oliver already needs his dick sucked this early in the morning!"

I winced as I made my way to him. Just tune it out, Len. I tried to keep my sight on Oliver, but my ears were still assaulted by their remarks.

"Why would Len date that guy when he could just date a girl?"

"I wonder if Rin knows her twin's a fag."

"I bet Len needs to put some make-up on since his boyfriend's here."

Why would these people say such horrible things? They don't even know me. I don't hate that I'm dating a boy. It's one of the few things I don't hate about myself. He's the best thing in my life. I love my boyfriend.

Tears rolled down my cheeks.

"You should all be _ashamed _of yourselves!" Oliver spat, wrapping an arm around me.

We left the room, but I couldn't stop my tears.

He held my hands in his face, "Love, I am so sorry that people found out about us. I-"

"I don't care that they found out about us. I'm proud you're my boyfriend. I just… why do they have to be so mean?" I whispered.

Oliver eyed me lovingly, kissing my forehead, "You just can't understand because you don't have a malicious bone in your body."

"You should see me when I don't have a banana in the morning." I joked.

We both laughed lightly, before Oliver turned serious again, "Anyway... I just came to let you know about our relationship getting out and that I'm going to go confront _The_ _Paparazzi _about this."

"Can I come?" I asked.

"Uhh… Sure. I mean it _is _about us." he rubbed the back of his neck.

I bit my lip, "Can we hold hands? Or is that too embarrassing?"

He immediately placed his hand in mine, "It's worth it, if it makes you happy."

I blushed unable to contain my smile.

After checking to make sure the hallway was clear, I kissed his cheek, "You really are the best boyfriend ever."

Oliver's face heated up, "That's impossible, Love, because I already have the best boyfriend ever."

I grinned and nuzzled my head against his.

Finally, we had made it to the school newspaper's, _The Paparazzi_, official headquarters.

"Are you ready?" I asked, squeezing his hand.

Oliver's face darkened as he opened the door, "It's not me who needs to be ready."

**A/N: Hey guys. Sorry I haven't posted in forever and a day. **


	22. Chapter 22

**Oliver's POV**

Gripping Len's hand, I threw the doors open and growled, "Who took the picture?!

A girl with green hair pushed up her glasses, "I, Gumi Megpoid, chief editor of _the Paparazzi, _did. Would you like to talk?"

I scowled, "No apology, honestly?"

"If you didn't want it to get out, you should have not done it at all or been more discreet. It's your own damn fault you got caught. Anyone could have saw it- I just happened to preserve what I saw in a photo." she placed her hands on her hips.

"I don't care about our relationship getting out. I just can't stand the way their comments are hurting Len." I glanced over at my boyfriend who was staring down at the floor.

She sighed and her face grew softer, "Look… I really don't hate you guys at all. I think you're an adorable couple and I hate how immature our classmates can be, but this is what the real world is like. That's the reason _the Paparazzi _was created. You guys are going to be famous one day. You have to learn that your personal life will be attacked. You will always have nasty things said about you. You have to learn how to deal with them. Let me help you."

I tried to read her face, but I didn't know. She seemed sincere, but she _was _the one who printed our picture. I mean couldn't she have warned us or something? She must be looking out for her club and herself first, right?

Len smiled, "Thank you."

Well… If that was enough for Len, I guess that was enough for me.  
We followed her into her office and we sat across from her, "Okay so it's human nature to want something you can't have? That being so the less details you release about your relationship the more 'mysterious' it becomes. People will not be able to stop talking about it. But if you release as much information as possible then it should only be a hot topic for a couple of days. It will bore people if they already know everything."

I scrunched my eyebrows, "Isn't that a little simple?"

Gumi laughed, "It's kind of funny huh? How simple humans are? It's true though- remember Galaco?"

I shook my head, "I have no idea who that is."

She tapped her chin, "Oh! I forgot you were a transfer student, you must have been attending the English Vocaloid Academy. You must remember though Len, right?"

He nodded, "Yeah it was back when I was 12 so I must've been a second or third year. I just remember everyone was talking about Galaco in the hospital. Everyone was trying to guess what had happened, if she was sick, in a fight, hurt… whatever. That went on for about a week until she released an interview to the Paparazzi. We learned that she had developed a severe case of pneumonia. We all made her 'get well' cards and that was about it. I don't even remember what happened to her after that."

"Exactly! Once you take away the mystery it's boring because… life is boring. A harsh truth I know, but this is exactly what I think you guys should do." she nodded.

Len seemed to accept the plan readily, "Oh so how should we do that?"

"Just like you said, an interview usually can get the job done." she stated.

"Usually? Why only usually?" I asked skeptically.

She stated openly, "Because nothing in life is 100%. Besides some interviews are crafted to create _more _hype. The way I would structure our interview would be to get to all the details out and into the open."

I crossed my arms, "What _kind _of details?"

She sighed, "I understand you don't trust me. I mean I did expose your relationship to everyone, but I did that because I was obligated to. I am _not _obligated to do this. In fact this will hurt my story. Like I said, the more mystery, the more the hype the story gets. I'm only even giving you guys this options because I sincerely think you are good guys and I don't want you to have too much trouble. So if you're going to do this you have to do answer everything I ask. _Everything_."

Len squeezed my hand, "I believe her, Oliver."

I sighed, "Sorry, for being so untrustworthy. I just… I really would hate for this to backfire."

Gumi smiled, "I understand. Now are you ready for the interview?"

We nodded and she took out her recorder, "Okay then! Now please introduce yourselves."

Len: I'm uh Len Kagamine, I'm 16 and in my 6th year.

Gumi: Are you excited to graduate?

Len: ...Not really.

Gumi: And you?

Oliver: I'm Oliver Byrd, I'm 14 and I'm a 5th year.

Gumi: You're only 14?

Oliver: I skipped a grade back in primary school.

Gumi: Wow that's impressive! I suppose it makes sense seeing that you're in the top ten in your year! Now, is it true that you two are actually dating?

Len and Oliver: Yes.  
Gumi: Oh how exciting! So how long have you two been dating?

Len: A week and 5 days.

Gumi: Heh, seems like someone is keeping count! How did you two meet?

Oliver: Len, needed an English tutor and so my teacher asked if I'd be willing since I'm a native English speaker and all.

Gumi: Oh yes, you are from England, Oliver, yes?

Oliver: That's right.

Gumi: How is the English Vocaloid Academy comparable to the Japanese branch?

Oliver: Well… The Japanese branch is quite larger than the English. Also it seems that flamboyant performance is stressed more than composing here while the opposite is true in the English branch.

Gumi: They do go over the same material as ours though. Including dancing, yes? There's a rumor going around that Len is helped you cheat on your last Dance exam. What do you have a comment?

Len: That's not true! Oliver did so well on his last exam because he practiced so hard. We worked for weeks on his technique! Besides how could I even help him cheat on a Dance Exam? That doesn't make any sense!

Gumi: Well, you could have been signaling Oliver while you were in the crowd so then he didn't forget his cues.

Oliver: He was sitting all the way in the back. Besides he clapped at the end of my test, if he was helping me cheat, don't you think he would be more discreet?

Gumi: I never said I thought he helped you cheat. I said this was a rumor.

Oliver: Well it's not true.

Gumi: Okay, the other thing was that I was actually tipped that there was something strange going on with you two because of the _Teto's Bakery _incident. Would you mind describing this event?

Oliver: ...I'm not answering that.

Gumi: I told you if we are going to do this you are going to answer all my questions.

Oliver: Fine. I went to the bakery to eat my emotions. I had… wrongly misinterpreted something Len had said and thought he had dumped me.

Gumi: How do you misinterpret someone's words so badly?

Len: Well, I had taken some… medication when I said it, so I was kind of out of it.

Gumi: Medication?

Len: …

Oliver: Please, don't make him answer that.

Gumi: Don't worry I'll edit this out of the interview. It's not relevant to the meaty information about your relationship I need. Now then, can you describe this famous incident?

Len: Oh umm… I realized a little later that he was upset, but at the time I hadn't realized what he was upset about exactly. So I went looking for him. At first I hadn't thought he was actually in the bakery but then uhh…

Oliver: I was trying to avoid him because I wasn't ready to see him after our alleged break-up so I… may have hid under a table.

Gumi: You're serious? You actually hid under a table?

Oliver: ...Yeah. It would have worked too if I hadn't hit my head.

Len: I figured out where he was, but before we could talk things over he ran away, so I chased him to the park- where I finally caught up to him.

Oliver: You didn't catch up, you tackled me.

Len: You really thought I could just let you go?

Gumi: Heh, sounds like you have a problem with communicating, Oliver.

Oliver: I don't… well, maybe a little.

Len: No, it was my fault, really.

Oliver: Oh don't even.

Gumi: So after that you two were able to talk and patch things over?

Oliver: Yeah, everything's going great now. Well, except for the way people have been taking our relationship…

Gumi: Yes, you two seem to be the focus of gossip at the moment. How do you feel about that?

Oliver: It honestly makes me sick. I don't even care that they're saying such disgusting things, sadly I expect that from people. The problem I have with it is that people are making hateful comments towards my boyfriend. That's a form of harassment!

Len: I just… I don't understand why they have to be so mean about it. Even if they don't like that we're two boys who are dating, they should still respect our relationship. If I didn't want to be with Oliver I wouldn't. I'm dating him because I'm in love with him. It's not just a silly game or a fling. This is me choosing the person I want to try and build a life with.

Oliver: Len… I want to be with you forever, too.

Gumi: It seems to me that you two have something very special and beautiful. I hope things continue to go well. Thank you so much for your time.

**A/N: Sorry, this chapter is a little boring, but it kind of sets up some stuff. As an apology for not updating for so long here's two chapters for you guys. **


	23. Chapter 23

**Len's POV**

Before I could even get both feet into my house I could hear my mother call, "Len?! Your father and I would like to talk to you!"

I winced, well, considering that a picture of my boyfriend (which I haven't told them about yet) and me kissing was leaked today I'm assuming it's about that.

"Mama, Papa?" I stepped into the living room.

My mother was pacing back and forth while my father sat in his chair, expressionless.

"Len, dear, we… we heard that you were caught kissing a boy? Is this true?" she asked staring my way, ready to read my face.

I knew the answer they wanted to hear. I knew they wanted me to deny it- for it to not be true. That's what they want, but they can't have that. I can't give that to them. It's not that I don't want to… All I've ever wanted was to be normal, but Oliver's shown me that I don't _have _to be.

Gaining courage by thinking of him, I straightened my shirt, "I was kissing him because he's my boyfriend."

My mother gasped, "Oh God! Sweetheart, you… You don't know what you're feeling. You must be confused. This can't be true…"

I felt myself crack at her utter rejection, "Mama, I'm not confused at all. I've never been more sure about anything in my life! I love him."

She didn't even look at me. My words couldn't reach her.

"Is this my fault? Were your father and I not affectionate enough? We should have never allowed you to go to an Arts School!" she collapsed into a chair next to my father.

I kneeled in front of them, "Guys… It's not your fault. It's not _my _fault. I just… I love him and I can't help that."

"Len, you are too young to even understand what love is!" my father snapped.

I shook my head the tears beginning to fall, "Oh but I do! He's taught me what it feels like to be loved."

My mother started sobbing, "We love you! Isn't that enough?! Why would you do this to us?!"

I cringed, "Mama… That's not what I meant. I know you love me, but… You love me because I was born to you. It's not the same as love given freely. He's taught- he's teaching me to accept myself for who I am."

"For being gay?" my mother spat.

I huffed, "I'm not _homosexual_. That is so- so- hetero of you! Sexuality is a lot more complicated than that!"

My father snorted, "You think you understand more about sexuality than us?!"

"So if you're not gay, then what are- what do you _think _you are?" my mother questioned.

I flinched, "I'm _demisexual_. I can only feel physical attraction to people I've made an emotional connection with."

"Why couldn't you have made a connection with a girl?" she pinched the bridge of her nose.

I growled, getting up to organize the living room, "Because I'm in love with Oliver!"

My mother gasped, "Oliver?! Your English tutor?!"

I nodded as I rearranged the books from longest to shortest.

"Len, look at me!" she barked.

I jumped, looking back at her.

"Is that whose house you slept over at?" she held my gaze.

I adverted my eyes, "...Yes."

She shook with anger, "Len, that is _not _okay!"

"We didn't do anything! We're waiting until we're both ready! Besides, even if we did do anything we're both boys- it's not like we would get pregnant!"

She slapped me, "That's not the point! It doesn't matter if no one got pregnant! You are a child. You hear me? A child! A child living under _our _roof and that is not acceptable behavior! And don't you dare give me the "you're doing this because I'm gay" bullshit. We would never allow Rin to have a sleepover with her boyfriend either! You lied to us by not telling us!"

I shook my head, tears pouring out again, "This is why I didn't tell you! Why I didn't even _want _to tell you! I knew you guys would just come to the same conclusion that you always do- that I'm a _freak_!"

Before they could yell at me again, I ran up the stairs and locked myself into my room.

Everything they've always told me was a lie. They said they would always love me no matter what. They said that they wouldn't care who I was with as long as I was happy. They said that love is more important than anything else.

They're just pretty lies. They didn't mean a thing. Not to them anyway.

I don't care if I'm lying to myself.

I don't care about anything as long as I could be with Oliver.


End file.
